A few years ago we thought it would be a good idea for our dad, who is 87, to start keeping a journal of his life—an informal memoir of sorts. We didn’t know he would embrace the idea as he has. He is now on his second journal. It’s not in any particular sequence; when he remembers something he considers significant, he writes it down.

It seems that this retrospection and contemplation of the past is not unique to our father. It is part of a process called “Life Review,” a term coined over 50 years ago by Robert N. Butler, MD. It’s a rather universal course of elderly care and care for those who are terminally ill and can be manifested silently or orally, consciously or unconsciously. It is a personal process by which an individual assesses his or her life as it nears its conclusion. A variety of things can trigger this reflective process – midlife, the interest of family or friends, a turning point or career choice, or an impending death can all contribute to the process.

Butler describes life review as a normal developmental task of old age. Theoretically, it is experienced by all older adults, on a conscious or unconscious level. Unresolved conflicts are of particular importance in life review. They represent final opportunities for individuals to resolve and come to terms with life’s earlier conflicts.

Butler says that death can be accepted only through the resolution of those conflicts, atonement for past actions or inactions, and reconciliations with estranged family and friends. Life review helps people to make peace with the past. By recording one’s history, whether by the written or spoken word, a legacy can be provided to pass on to succeeding generations. The life review can be a natural healing process and important for elderly care in that it enables elders share their memories with empathic listeners and/or readers and it gives a sense of validation to their lives.

A number of life review and family history training manuals have been developed to help elders on their journey. The Hospice Foundation of America has a guide to help document memories called “A Guide for Recalling and Telling Your Life Story.” Using tools like this may help resolve conflicts and questions about the road or roads not taken.

Gerri Tyber, Operations Manger
Barton Home Care

Dealing with dementia is all about the choices you make

There are at least two ways I can choose to feel when I go to visit my aunt, who is in the throes of the effects of dementia and residing in an Assisted Living Facility. I can be sad and depressed and on the verge of tears because it’s hard to recognize the person in front of me as my aunt. She was always very prim and proper with the same neat, short hairstyle forever and a very basic, plain style of dressing. The only flamboyancy I ever saw her express over the years was her purchase of a few convertible cars.

Another choice I have besides sadness is to look for a little humor in the person she has become. Gone is the neat hairstyle of the past, and in its place is a rather scary, unkempt Richard Lewis look. The plain, but color coordinated outfits have been replaced with some really bad clothing choices. The effects of dementia  causes her to ignore two closets filled with clothing and opts to wear basically the same thing every day—topped off with shoes with no socks. Her socks, and other items, disappear on a regular basis. The staff at the facility thinks she throws them out. Initially, I found myself getting upset about things that went missing. Now, I just replace them.

The effects of dementia is causing my aunt to steadily lose her vocabulary. I have learned it is best to ask questions that can be answered simply—yes or no if possible. She no longer turns the television in her room on, but recently while waiting to be called for an appointment in a doctor‘s office, she was watching the national news channel that was on. She expressed extreme dislike of the green Geiko Gecko character, and when she saw George W. Bush, she announced to everyone in the waiting room, “I know that guy.” I had to chuckle. There are blogs devoted to finding some humor in the daily lives of Alzheimer and Dementia patients. I find them to be an affirmation that there are choices we can make when dealing with dementia and our loved ones affected by the disease.

Gerri Tyber

Operations Manager, Barton Home Care

After watching Ken Burns’ “The War,” I came away with a renewed appreciation for that man’s talent at making superbly crafted documentaries. And in particular, I thank him for his subject matter this time … WWII. I am in awe of the men and women who got us through that War. Yes, we out produced our enemies and we also had some of the bravest men give it their all to ensure our freedom.

My father served as a gunner in a B-29 bomber in the Pacific. Over the years I have learned more and more about the various battles and horrific sacrifices our service men made for this country. He is eternally grateful to the Marines who captured the island of Iwo Jima. It was strategically vital as an emergency landing field for B-29’s that suffered damage from bombing raids over Japan. He’s certain that their sacrifice saved his life. The War was certainly one of the most meaningful events in my father’s life.

As a home care provider, I have and continue to be honored and privileged to serve some of our veterans from WWII and other wars as well. We are currently providing care for a Two Star General struggling with Alzheimer’s Disease. We also serve a gentleman who was captured by the Japanese and held as a POW for four years. And for several years now we have been providing care for a 90 year old woman who helped to build B-29 bombers. She was a “Rosie the Riveter” and without women such as her, the outcome of The War may not have been favorable.

The more I learn about WWII the more I am amazed. To think that we had to fight on two fronts, the Pacific and Europe, and the fact that our freedom was truly threatened is something that I hope no one forgets. After all, we are losing our WWII Vets at an alarming pace. It’s important to honor them. Please, anytime you encounter a Vet from that War or any war — please take the time to personally thank them for what they did. I salute all of our veterans for their bravery and sacrifice. I truly am honored to serve those who served all of us so well.

Tom Barton

Owner, Barton Home Care