Convincing Our Elders That They Do Need Home Care
Senior home care eases family caregivers’ worries
I can’t tell you how many times I have received a phone call from an obviously stressed-out woman desperate for help in dealing with her elder mother. It seems that her mother’s needs have increased and this woman finds herself deeply enmeshed in her mother’s care. Complicating the situation is the fact that she also has her own family to care for in addition to her professional employment duties. She is now reaching out for outside assistance. This is admirable that she is taking this step but solving this problem may prove to be anything but easy.
You see our current generation of elders, most in need of care, are the same folks who endured the Great Depression, World War II, the Cold War and so much more. They learned to deal with such mega challenges and they are true survivors. They were taught to “save for a rainy” day and many learned that being frugal was the ticket through such difficult times. They’re proud people and independent souls. They all believe that only the strong survive.
So what happens when this woman who called confronts her mother with the concept of home health care? I’ve been on those intervention meetings where the daughter wants me to convince her mother that in-home elder care could truly be beneficial. More often than not, the elder listens to the benefits of senior home care and then, with a smile, will say that it all sounds very nice but she doesn’t need any help because her daughter takes care of her. This usually results in the daughter running out of the room in tears because “she just can’t take it anymore.”
So what is the solution … how to get the elder to accept the home care concept so that the daughter can resume some semblance of a normal life? There are no easy answers and results vary from family to family. So much is predicated on the existing family relationships and the degree of urgency for such care. Sometimes “baby steps” may work and there may be an opportunity for the elder to experience senior home care on a trial basis. I certainly don’t blame our elders for facing home care with some trepidation. Once a carefully chosen caregiver is introduced, however, it’s not unusual for the elder to realize that they just gained a new-found friend. Then a plan to continue can be crafted that makes sense for the whole family. Sometimes carefully explaining to the elder that hiring a home care company is really not for the elder — it’s for the family. They need some relief, some respite and they need the peace-of-mind to know that their loved one is receiving the quality care that they deserve because they “can’t always be there.”
As our Baby Boomers progess on the aging continuum, and as their parents reach the point of needing more and more care and if they want to see their parents maintain their independence at home, they’re going to need some outside help. Today’s families are not concentrated together in the same town like the old days. Many family members are spread out over the country. Thus enter in-home senior care. It really can be the right solution for all involved and is certainly worth exploring. The right senior home care company can be an ally to the family and truly make a difference in their quality of life.
I know this from my experience … when I reach the age of needing help to preserve my independence, I will hire multiple caregivers to take care of the basics so that I can focus my remaining time doing whatever it is that I need to do … hopefully still helping others navigate the aging process.
Just a difference in generational thinking …
Owner, Barton Home Care