Relying on Support to Ease Caregiver Stress
Caring for ourselves and relying on caregiver support while we care for an aging parent or loved one is essential. Providing care for someone can be excessively stressful and caregiver burnout is a common result. When faced with the day-to-day stress of caregiving, we often avoid support for ourselves and go on auto-pilot to accomplish what needs to be done. As caregivers we often fail to recognize the early signs of our own burnout and forgo our own caregiver support because we are so focused on caring for our loved one. Signs of caregiver stress and burnout vary from individual to individual, and their intensity depends on many factors including your personality, age, health and circumstances.
Have you given up your favorite pastimes? The demands of caregiving always mean less time for the activities you enjoyed before you became a caregiver, but if you’ve cut them out entirely, you’re likely in distress.
Are you feeling persistently blue, irritable, impatient, helpless, hopeless or unable to experience enjoyment? Do minor upsets make you cry or furious? Have you gained or lost more than 5 pounds in the past two months? These are classic symptoms of depression. If you have developed several of these symptoms, you’re in distress and in dire need of caregiving support.
Do you have trouble sleeping? Caregiving can cause periodic anxiety dreams, nightmares, and wake-ups in the wee hours. But if you experience frequent sleep disturbance, you’re in distress. Do you feel exhausted all the time? Although the demand of caregiving can be exhausting, if you frequently wake up feeling you can’t get out of bed despite a good night’s sleep, you’re in distress and need support.
Have you recently developed any chronic health problems? These might include: headaches, back or neck pain, stomach distress, diarrhea, constipation, and/or heart palpitations. It’s natural to experience any of these from time to time, but if they become persistent, chances are you’re in distress. The immune system is what protects us from illness and helps us recover when we get sick. Many things can impair immune function; among them are fatigue, depression, and stress. If you seem to be getting one illness after the next, or if they linger longer than you think they should, you’re probably in distress and should seek some caregiver support.
What can you do to reduce caregiver stress and burnout?
• Recognize that caregiving is stressful and realize that role changes are difficult to undertake. Do not be hard on yourself when you experience impatience, frustration, sadness, or anger. These are natural emotions when caring for someone who may be unhappy, ungrateful, or difficult.
• Identify the stressors in your caregiving role. What tasks or behaviors are most frustrating or anxiety-producing? Think through and plan your responses to these stressful situations.
• Learn and practice stress management techniques. Relaxation exercises such as deep breathing, meditation, and visualization, as well as physical exercise are very helpful. Get adequate rest.
• Be willing to walk away from difficult situations to calm down and return later to try a new approach.
• Remember not to personalize the problems. Your loved one is not deliberately trying to make your life difficult.
• Simplify and structure the environment; make care routine.
• Set realistic goals regarding what and how much you can do.
• Be good to yourself. Say nice things to yourself when the person you are caring for no longer can.
• Use your sense of humor- it relieves stress and is a positive emotional release for both of you.
• Find sources for personal satisfaction; renew outside activities and have FUN!
• Write feelings/thoughts in a journal.
• Know the resources that are available in your community. There are many programs and professional in home companion companies out there that can help you.
• Identify and be willing to use your support systems! If family or friends offer to help, accept it.
Gale B. Nichter, LCSW
Gale Nichter, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice and has been working with older adults and their families for 18 years. She is available for consultation, long term planning, caregiver support, psychotherapy/counseling, evaluations for guardianship and conservatorship, and seminars/workshops on all facets of aging and caregiving. Ms. Nichter can be reached at 303-337-6130.