As you get older, life certainly can become more complicated. The complexities of day to day living seem to grow exponentially. There’s your job, your family, your community, your government, your health, your family’s health, your finances, your hobbies/interests, your passions, your recreation and so on. These aspects of your life have been going on for some time now so why is it becoming more challenging to manage, and what is one to do to keep a healthy balance and a positive, upbeat outlook?

The problem is that the days seem to be so much shorter now than in one’s younger years. It’s hard to get everything done and to stay focused on priorities. Perhaps it’s the relationship of your years lived divided by your potential life span. When you were 10 years old (and with a potential life span of say 85 years) you were operating on a 12% factor … so remember how long those days were? Those summer vacations from school seemed to last an eternity. Now say you’re 55 years young … your same factor would be about 65%. That higher number means “where in the heck did the day go”? Yes, this is all very unscientific but I’m just trying to figure out why we’re always running out of time. Somehow the “perception” of time is impacted. Couple that with the fact that very few of us are truly able to live in the minute … we’re always thinking about what needs to be done or what has been done. Maybe, just maybe, this is how our elder population is able to endure the challenges of growing old. If we were experiencing the often difficult aging process with a child’s perception of time it could certainly be cruel and unusual treatment. Maybe this “time” distortion thing is a blessing … I think it is.

The folks we serve certainly help me with putting life’s priorities in order. I no longer complain about my knees aching from years of running … not when I see how many elders take life’s daily challenges on with such dignity and stoicism. Everyone does age differently. Attitude does seem to play a huge part in how one navigates the usual myriad of aging and health challenges. One person stands out in my mind and, if it were possible, I’d give him a posthumous award for aging with grace, dignity and pizzazz.

His name was Bob Morelli, and he was the father of one of my best friends going back as far as grade school. I watched this man with amazement as he exhibited tireless energy doing what he loved to do. First of all, he was a talker … an animated Italian from Brooklyn, New York. Sucessful in his own right, he raised two succesful boys who both ended up with careers in law. He was a piano/organ player extraordinaire. He fiddled with his ham radio and always seemed to be talking with people in far-off places. He was an avid tennis player and kept himself reasonably fit. Well into his seventies, he then thought it was time to start flying … so off he went to get his pilot’s license. Never a complainer, always upbeat, and with a great sense of humor, Mr. Morelli was a model for all of us to take note of … he found the time to enjoy life. Even after losing his beloved wife, he carried on. An avid reader, he never stopped learning.

So, this elder in particular was able to use the time-crunched later years very effectively, productively and happily. He met life head-on with robust enthusiasm. We did lose Bob a few years back but his memory lives on, and he truly had a powerful influence on everyone who ever met him. So go forward people and give it your best and jam pack those upcoming “short” days with an exciting zest for life … just like Mr. Morelli.

Tom Barton

Owner, Barton Home Care

The one thing in life that we have all had issues with is independence. We start out as children who have to listen to our elders. We make sure that we follow the rules of the family and try to please them as we grow up by doing the right things–going to school, church, doing community projects and being a nice person that listens to their elders. Then, we go to the next stage in life; we are 18 and can now vote and do many other things. At this point we are spreading our wings to enjoy our first real taste of independence. We make our own decisions; consider furthering our education, marriage, children, etc. There are so many things that can be done when you have no one to tell you that you can’t do them. Maybe a sense of control of your life can give you confidence and the feeling of standing on your own two feet.

When you get your first taste of life and freedom, it just makes you want more. So next you find yourself married and having children which continues the cycle. You bring your children up to learn the values that you did as a child which includes trying to get them to respect their elders. I guess you could call them traditional family values. And the one thing that no one thinks about at this stage in life is that chances are one day that valued independence will be taken away. Someone may start telling you what to do again, like when you were a child. Trying to force an elderly person to do something that they don’t want to can be damaging to them. They may become angry, and they may become physical. The one thing that is most helpful for dealing with the elderly is giving them choices, within safe boundaries. Let them have options; that small thing can let them keep their dignity and a sense of control of their lives.

I took care of my father for a year; he was dying from pulmonary fibrosis. After five months of caring for him, we brought hospice into our home. The pain he was in was so severe that he could not think clearly. The medications that we gave him helped with his pain, but added to his confusion—particularly when he had to make any kind of choices. Instead of giving five or ten choices, I gave him two. That way, he still had a sense of his independence and felt he had some control all the way to the end of his life. This is one of the best gifts that I could have given my father. I protected him and still left him choices. I hope that someday I will be given a gift like that–my independence.

Marcy Cox, BS Gerontology

Solutions to the challenges of the elderly and technology

I have made a valiant effort to keep up with the world’s ever-changing technology. I can operate a cell phone, a computer, an iPod nano, my HD TV to some degree (if I have my glasses and all three remotes) a GPS navigation system, etc. Some days, though, I just can’t face figuring out another electronic gismo. Then I think of my father, who in his younger days could have built you an entire home as well as most all of the furniture for that home, but today faces serious challenges many senior citizens face with technology. At his family’s insistence, he bought a cell phone for safety reasons. His mailbox was setup, even though he has never used it. I checked his messages one day and found one from two years prior. He turns the phone on to make a call and then immediately shuts it off. Your chances of getting him to answer a call are slim to none.

We bought my father a 5-disc CD changer for Father’s Day. When asked how he liked it, he said that he spent most of the day on the phone with the manufacturer because the discs were stuck in the machine. Upon checking, I discovered that he had flipped the CD’s over as you would do with record albums, and the machine was not recognizing them. My father is in awe of, yet distrusts, my GPS navigation system. He has asked me how the “woman” who gives me directions can give everyone directions at the same time. Remotes, with their small buttons, present a daily dilemma also. There is always the question of which remote goes with which piece of equipment. My aunt, too, has struggled with what many of us would consider to be very basic equipment. She never played her radio or CD player in her new car. They were just too complex for her to think about.

 The Elderly and Technology Solutions

Obviously, there is a need for simpler versions of technology for the elderly. Some companies are addressing this need. The Jitterbug cell phone may be one such company. It seems that they are tuned in to the challenge of senior citizens and technology. Their phones have big buttons, large screens and live, 24-hour operators available to provide technical assistance. No cameras and no other bells and whistles make their phones a refreshing change for our seniors. Jitterbug has taken on the “simplicity” challenge.

A way of expanding communication for the senior who doesn’t own or want to own a computer, but would like to receive family photos, hand written notes, etc. is a device called Presto. It consists of a Printing Mailbox that you plug into a power outlet and an existing ordinary phone jack. Using any email account, people can send email and photos to the HP Printing Mailbox user. The Presto Service converts regular email and photo attachments into Presto Mail—printouts that are automatically delivered to the HP Printing Mailbox on a daily schedule, just like letters.

On a more basic technology level, there is a nationwide identification program sponsored by the Alzheimer’s Association which provides help if a person with Alzheimer’s Disease or dementia wanders away and becomes lost. It is called Safe Return, and when an enrolled member is missing, a community support network is activated to help find the lost individual. Through the use of identification products such as an engraved bracelet or necklace, listed contacts will be notified when the person is found.

Aging parents often do not want any modern-day tools, but may be more prone to accept them if they understand that a few small technology advances can help to ease your mind knowing that they have options in case of emergency.

Gerri Tyber, Operations Manager

Barton Home Care