When I would call my aunt, who was in the early stages of dementia, to see how she was, she would frequently tell me that she was writing checks to pay her bills. I wondered how she could have many bills; she rarely went shopping any more and I never saw any evidence of substantial new purchases in her home.

Once while visiting, I noticed a large stack of what she thought were bills, but in actuality were solicitations from just about every organization known to man. She was contributing to all of these organizations guilty of scamming the elderly. She thought that she had to pay them—they were financial obligations and her upbringing taught her to take care of any such obligations. Sadly, several months had passed before I became aware of this predicament. In the interim, she had given away a large sum of money, much more than her financial status allowed. She was exploited on a local level by companies preying on seniors and  scamming elderly people. She was considerably overcharged for routine household maintenance that she occasionally needed and for the upkeep of her small yard. One can only wonder how many people took advantage of her.

In retrospect, there were lifestyle changes that I should have questioned. I should have asked to see her bank statements, but I didn’t want to intrude on her privacy. I noticed she had become more withdrawn and rarely left her home, but I attributed this to the dementia, which undoubtedly played a role, but may not have been the sole factor. My aunt was always fiercely independent, and by withdrawing from people she didn’t have to answer any questions about her finances or anything else or to possibly show her vulnerability or inability to handle routine things.

NCEA, National Center on Elder Abuse, is a nonprofit organization that investigates cases of scamming the elderly and estimates over 5 million cases of elder financial exploitation occur yearly, most of them going unreported by seniors. They are either unaware that they are being exploited or too embarrassed to acknowledge it.

Before dementia took over my aunt’s life, pride kept her from admitting that she needed help. Our checklist may help you decide whether an elder in your family needs in-home elder care services.

Gerri Tyber

Operations Manager, Barton Home Care

 Good customer service is a rarity despite commercials and taglines that would have you think otherwise.

I don’t know about you, but everyday I’m hopeful that someone, somewhere will dazzle me with extraordinary service. After all, I grew up as a baby boomer in the 50s and 60s. I was spoiled with top notch service. It seemed that the work ethic was different back then. People put in a hard days work, did quality work and came home exhausted but proud. Today it seems people just want to get by. I’m rarely “dazzled.” In fact, more often than not, I’m disappointed with service. I know that sounds cynical but maybe you can relate.

I admit, I’m a recovering perfectionist in a very imperfect world. My expectations are very high. I was a big Tom Peter’s fan when his book “In Search of Excellence” was published. In the book he gives countless examples of small and large companies that went to great lengths to provide remarkable service. Today, it seems that, especially large organizations, just don’t care about that notion. If a customer complains, instead of trying to figure out how to make it better, they would just as soon “show the customer the door.” Yes, consumers today are more demanding and potentially unreasonable in some of their expectations, but everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt.

Apathy about customer service is perhaps a symptom of deeper, more troubling issues with our country in general. People are obviously divided and passionate about our leadership or lack thereof. We all know about the trouble with our education and healthcare systems. Many people are frustrated and rageful about many issues that just don’t seem to get the attention deserved. Overseas, we are often looked upon as truly “the Ugly American.”

These are challenging times for sure. The average person feels powerless to effect change. What can we all do to restore this country back to GREATNESS? I think we can all start by taking pride of ownership in whatever it is we do. We need to again, “put our best foot forward” every single day. If we make products, let’s make great, high quality products. If we provide service, let’s endeavor to WOW our customers with amazing service. I am confident that every single one of us can make a difference if we really try. Remember, the butterfly effect … those tiny flapping wings that could have a ripple effect on the world and theoritically cause major changes elsewhere on planet Earth.

Today is a new day …

Tom Barton

Owner, Barton Home Care

 Considering senior care options from a distance

My father will be turning 80 years old in a few months and has been showing signs of short-term memory loss for some time now. He lives alone and although his physical health is good, I am worried that he may somehow jeopardize his safety because of his increasingly acute forgetfulness. Unfortunately, we live many hundreds of miles apart so it’s not possible for me to monitor his daily activities. We do speak frequently by phone but this sometimes heightens my concern that all is not well with his aging mind.

My situation is surely not unique as it has become clearly commonplace in recent decades for people to necessarily relocate virtually anywhere career requirements dictate. I can only assume that this trend has left large numbers of elderly people with fewer nearby family members to rely upon for overseeing their well-being and helping to deal with life’s daily issues. Whereas in the “old days” an aging family member would likely be taken in and cared for by relatives, life in modern society has sadly made that scenario less feasible.

Some parts of the country, such as metro Denver, are seemingly quite progressive when it comes to in home senior care. Other, more “traditional” locations like western Pennsylvania where my father lives are perhaps not as fortunate. It is my belief that placing him in a nursing home would be tantamount to compromising his dignity. Ultimately it may come to that, and of course assisted living facilities do have their place. It is the transition period from self-reliance to total dependence that concerns me - those months or years when the services of a reliable in home senior care service would be invaluable.

By what criteria does one select in  home senior care, especially when the senior care selection process may have to be performed from a distance?

Eric B.